Tuesday, September 18, 2012


Sometimes it can be hard being 5 (and a half). 

Sometimes when you are not use to being teased, because you are an only child, it can really make you sad. 

It can be so confusing when your friends say mean things and then forget about it 5 minutes later but for you it sits in your belly and your heart and makes you feel yukky. 

It can make your tummy hurt and it can make you cry. 

It can make you feel confused and overwhelmed. 

It make you scared and make you not want to go to school.

It can be hard to tell mummy and daddy because you haven't figured it out in your head yet.

And  your reaction is real and justified and its not because you are overly sensitive or that you need to toughen up, its because you haven't had to learn how to respond to this type of behaviour before.

But then when you do tell Mummy she can help make it better. 

She can help you practice what to say to the other kids when they say mean things.

She can tell you it does hurt and it is awful and it is mean and she can wipe your tears.

She can talk to the teacher who also noticed that things had changed in the little gang and the teacher can reassure you and tell you to always tell her if you are sad. 

But sometimes Mummy struggles with other peoples parenting styles and that she has no control over what other children tell you about the world. 

And that the way some kids talk to you is how they get spoken to at home and that people have different rules at their house and tell their kids things that mummy doesn't want you to know about yet.

But now you are learning to be brave and to tell someone if you feel sad or confused. 

And some days we all need reminding so I made you this so you would remember. 


  1. Am gutted and heart broken for you both. I HATE that our kids have to face this shit. After 10 years as a teacher I am TERRIFIED about having to throw my kids to the wolves (because that's EXACTLY how it feels in my gut).

    Just. SO. Sad.

    1. it is so hard! her teacher is so great so I am lucky but it makes me cry inside.

  2. I'm so glad you're her mum..she has just the right one!

  3. It really does hurt so much doesn't it Cath. But you are obviously doing everything to help her to survive and grow in a world that simply is what it is. Well done:) Jane

  4. I can completely relate to everything you've written. Your poor darling girl, kids are cruel absolutely & that jungle we call school is a tough place to be sometimes. It's hard being mum too, preparing our babies as much as we can. What a lovely post to write to your girl..hugs to you both x

  5. That is one of the hardest things about parenting...the outside influences. My girlies are older now (15 and 17)but I remember that struggle. In my opinion you did exactly the right thing...teaching how to cope. And what a wonderful reminder you made!

    When my girlies were little Santa was a huge part of Christmas...When they were both still small one of their little friends told them that there was no Santa because that is what her Daddy told her. It broke my heart to have my little one hear something that she did not want to hear. It is so hard to realize that we just can't control it all.

    You did a wonderful thing for your little one.


  6. I hate mean kids (which means there are lots of kids that I am not really that fond of)!

    I know I should grow up and get over it. Maybe I need that flag!

  7. OH Cath my heart goes out to both of you.
    I was bullied at her age, so i know what it's like.
    big love to you xo

  8. Oh, I am sorry :( I love the little flag. I hope the general goodness of humankind will prevail soon. And the ultimate magic of a new baby should help!

  9. Oh ugh.... it's bad enough when the other kids don't want to play with bubba at the playground .. but this - it's gunna make me cry, I'm thinking of moving to the middle of nowhere so he has to always stay at home with me.

  10. The subject is heartbreaking but such a beautiful post Cath. I think everyone needs that reminder at times, big and little! Hugs to your brave and beautiful Busy!

  11. I love the flag. Be proud that Busy knows she can talk to you both for unconditional love and support. Its so hard to talk about what is confusing and hurtful, no matter the age.

  12. Oh poor Busy! Hope things get easier for her (and you). Our little school only has 35 kids and they usually all get along beautifully. Sadly there will always be hard lessons for kids to learn about life; sometimes all you can do is hope that your kids will come to you when things are confusing or upsetting.

  13. Oh no! I have so been there with my big girl too, Cath. Even though it was many many years ago now I can still remember the hurt. We feel their pain, and I admit that I carry it around with me too. I hope Busy feels better soon and works out a way to process this strange world filled with people who are different from ourselves. I still have to remind my big girl that she can only be responsible for her own behaviour and that what other people do and say rarely has anything to do with her. Big hugs. Kx

  14. what an awesome Mum you are, and what a gorgeous girl you've got. It makes me so teary. I know exactly what you're talking about - the type of kids and the type of parenting, that just breaks your heart, and makes you want to pull them out of school and homeschool them.

    My girls are 9 and 11, so we are in the middle of 'mean girl' territory (with teenage years yet to come, gah!!). My older girl in particular, has had to face a lot of mean stuff - exclusion mainly, because she marches to the beat of her own drum, and just doesn't get the mainstream girls. But every day, at school drop off (I still walk them both in, every day), I tell them both "I love you, you are awesome" - and quite often, they spontaneously say "I'm awesome". We work so hard on their self-belief, because I tell you, the tide of hideous stuff, that you want to protect them from, just gets bigger - and it's often because of different parenting styles, the messages that other children are hearing at home. I have so.many.examples.

    I am so heartened to read your blog post. If only we could all be at the same school!! Here's to you and your little one, being brave. And being awesome. Cat x

  15. This is one of the hardest things of motherhood I think.

    We've got the going away on camp for 5 days thing - with the not nice girls, happening soon...
    My fingers are crossed that she doesn't sleep walk if stressed!! XXXto you guys.

  16. What a wonderful mum you are. So so heartbreaking :(. I think I need one of those signs for myself sometimes to remind me.

  17. This is such a beautiful post, Cath - and I am so glad this amazing girl of yours is learning to be brave, and to talk about these yucky things with the people who are best able to help (even though I wish we could take away the mean stuff that people do and say that can make us feel so yucky...)
    love and hugs to both of you xoxo

  18. This breaks my heart, parenting can be so hard x

  19. Life is difficult isn't it...most important thing is to keep talking...she's fortunate to have such an insightful and supportive mummy.

  20. Doesn't it scar your heart that you can't protect them from everything and everyone?

  21. Aww, little darling. What a beautiful post for her. Your words come straight from the heart and brought a lump to my throat. Big love to you both. You are both brave.

    I had the first experience of this sort of thing at the park the other day when three little girls would play with Cohen because "he's a boy." He was heart broken and confused. It hurt me too, but it was a good learning experience for him. I hope he remembers it if he tries to exclude someone. xx

  22. Oh fuck!
    This parenting gig is just too painful sometimes.
    Hugest hugs to you gals.
    She is brave and so are you.
    If I could come up there and trip those kids over when they are running out the school gates, I would.
    Love the flag. xx

  23. I think this scenario is what scares me most about Che going to school next year. My heart hurts for her (and you!) x

  24. Oh no. The sweet little thing. You are an awesome mama.
    I can't bear the idea of having to deal with this as a mama. It would just break your heart.
    Hugs to you both.
    P.S. I saw that belly today!!! So exciting! You know we're all counting down the days with you, don't you?
    Kitty x

  25. It's rubbish when the world throws this stuff at you! The good news is that your little poppet has wonderful loving mindful parents and that will help her find her strength. xx Alisa

  26. This breaks my heart a little, hearing how often this happens - and seeing it happen in-front of me with my 6.5 year old. I struggle many days each week how to help my own child deal with these other children who are brought up soooooo differently (by maids here in HK, hardly by their parents) Big hugs, you are brave. Cat xox

  27. s n i f f s n i f f

    Hugs to Busy .xx.

  28. i feel the same way with my sensitive, sweet, kind kindy girl. hugs to you both xx

  29. This is such a sweet, sad post. I hate this part of parenting - have been struggling with a very similar situation here. Thanks for writing about this. Hope your little one is ok.

  30. AND ANOTHER THING, I cannot for the life of me think of one single thing that beautiful 5 & 3/4 year old could be teased about. She is very kind, gentle, caring to others, she is very good at listening, she is funny and has a wonderful big smile, she is responsible and mature, but she is also playful and heaps of fun to be around, she has the best hair I've ever seen, is lovely and tall, she is excellent at sharing, she has a great sense of imagination, she is very pretty and has lovely dark eyes, she is very smart and good to have a chat with, she seems full of love and compassion, and from what I've seen she is pretty fast at running too.

    Those "teasers" must have eaten something really yucky for breakfast to have been put in such a crazy unkind mood.

  31. Congratulations on the new gorgeous bundle of joy. Love this post. Sending love and cuddles to Miss Busy. Hugs Teri & India xxx


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