Teaching Little Girls.

I often wonder how to teach Busy to be confident and have good self esteem?
How can I teach her to feel good about herself, feel that she is worthy, smart, funny, creative, caring... that her looks aren't the most important thing about her?

I have noticed that the first thing everyone who greets her does is comment on hair or her dress or in some way her looks.  I know people are being kind and it is nice but it is often the only way people know how to break the ice with little girls, I know I have been guilty of it too.  I feel like I have to counter act this with some other ways of making her feel good about herself that aren't based purely on what she looks like. 


Busy herself has noticed this too and said to me this morning "do I look cute?" I don't know how to to teach her that yes it is important to make an effort with how you look, for your own self but that in doing so it is not the most important thing about you.  She watches me get ready in the morning and wants to do the same. I don't wear makeup- other than mascara but she wants to do that too. I pretend to put it on her when she has her eyes closed... I know this is just mimicking and normal at this age, she puts my shoes on when I get home from work and walks around the house with a handbag talking into her her toy phone.


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 The messages she gets from society are all about growing up quickly. It is important to me that she remains a little girl for as long as possible. No sleepovers yet,  no clothes that are similar to anything I would wear! (Trying to find a swimming costume for her that didn't have something bra- like in the top was an exercise in self control. Or didn't have a logo on it- It took me 2 hours! Two hours of looking in every shop to find something that was appropriate for 4 year old. Finally found something but I was appalled at what I was faced with.)

I have been reading a bit about this and I guess I work on this self esteem stuff with her by teaching her new things and allowing her to try everything. Pointing out to her how she has improved and what she has learnt  Praising her for trying rather than focusing on if she succeeded or not. But is this enough? 


As she gets older and I know what is around the corner... very soon she will be worrying about  things that happen in the playground... and I know the body image stuff starts sooner rather than later. I worry about this. Busy is pretty adaptable, she is often shy at first and if anyone comes over or we go somewhere new she will cling to me for the first 20 minutes then she is fine but I wonder what I can do to make her feel confident and secure.

What do you think you do to boost  your children's self esteem? I would love to know.