Thursday, September 30, 2010
My Creative Space : Blah!!!
This is what I wanted to do to my sewing machine yesterday.
Ever had one of those days where everything you do turns out badly? I decided I was never sewing again, I was going to throw my machine over a cliff ( felt bad about rubbishing a National Park) burn all my scrap books and never never never make anything or sew anything ever ever ever again. Not blog anymore, erase my whole blog. Full of self doubt- everything I make is crap anyway, it is all too hard, I am not good at anything , everyone is better at sewing than me and more creative than me and I am wasting my time etc etc etc.
After the fifth disaster, they are to painful to list in detail, I realised what was wrong.
You can't make pretty when you feel yukky inside.
I watched my friend bury her father on Tuesday. It was so painful to see her in such pain. To see her being so brave and keeping the family together, supporting her mum. The eulogy she wrote for her father was so beautiful, a mix of funny and kind and heart warming and so beautifully written, I was so proud of her, the way she handled herself. Seeing her fathers school friends crying, it made me cry for them. I glad to be there for her, I know she would do the same.
I thought I could cheer myself up yesterday by spending the day sewing and brainstorming new ideas... but it was not meant to be.
I decided to step away from the machine, go outside, hug the dog and take him into to town for a coffee. I was able to giggle at the designer Hippies that have started arriving in town for the Bellingen Global Carnival with Chef and the owner... but more on that later...
I had a good vent and got a very lovely email from Kate that made me feel better, she was having a crap day too and so was Penny.
I realised that I need to prioritise. I like blogging, so that will continue, I like making so that to will continue. I will give myself longer deadlines for orders and stop trying to multitask.
I will give myself time and space.
My Creative Space is about space today. Nothingness. Just stopping for a while. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
So that is what I am doing for a while, but don't got to far I have the most exciting giveaway coming up ( hint it is from Penguin Publishing)
To see what peeps who didn't want to kill there sewing machines yesterday pop over here, thanks Kirsty.
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Noooo!! This is not good news, I hope it can be replaced for you nice & quick..
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteRIP!
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear about your friend's father. I hope you find the space that you need and the making starts working again for you. It can be awful when the thing that is your respite fromt ehw orld goes bad too!
ReplyDeleteHugs and here's hoping for all smiles soon.
ReplyDeleteWhen I am in a funk I talk to the dogs, it really helps as they don't answer back or try to give advice. Amazing what a good canine smooch will do :)
ReplyDeleteso sorry it's been a hard week for you and your friends... enjoy your space today x
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear things are so blah Cath. I think you made the right choice just to walk away for a bit and refresh. I wish you were close enough for me to pop by with the chocolate that arrived in the mail today (yay for winning your blog prize!). Chocolate always helps me on days like that. I hope today is a brighter day for you. xxx K
ReplyDeletethat sucks Cath, what a bad week.
ReplyDeletewalk away, take Busy for a walk & a play & some cuddles.
yukkiness inside can cause alot of grief & manifest into ways you would never imagine.
I wish I could pop round with some freshly baked cupcakes.
BIG hugs & thinking of you
♥
First up - if you have no talent and creativity, then I am packing it in now as there is obviously no hope for me as I love you stitching and gorgeous creations.
ReplyDeleteI so know those days, had them myself and I am sure it will pass and you can take the postitives out of it.
Perhaps the problem was you were trying to create the worng thing, perhaps you need to make something special for your friend to let her know how freaking tops you think she is and perhaps a smile in the middle of crap, perhaps that was the message the universe was sending not sewing machine harm? Time out from deadlines especially self imposed ones is always liberating I think.
x
oh I know that feeling well, but still I usually push on until its all a disaster ! Walking away is the best thing for sure.
ReplyDeleteOh the global ....I used to come back every year for it...it was part of the moving away deal... I do miss it and the crazy weekend it becomes.
I hope you get a day when the craft gods smile on you really soon !
I lost my Dad a few years ago and the grief is still so fresh, even after all this time... you just being there for your friend would have meant the world to her and love and support is all she really needs. It never goes away, it just gets... duller (is that even a word?!?) I miss him everyday, and I'm truly bummed out he never got to meet my 2 babygirls but thems the breaks, yeah? It sounds so cliched, but life really does just go on, jusr without one really special person... btw, I have tears streaming down my face right now. Hugs to you, hope your (amazing!) creative spark bursts back into flame asap!
ReplyDeleteI agree that taking a break is the best thing you can do! And although neither I or anyone close to me have lost anyone, I have had some things going on and when it gets to much I always find that best thing to do is walk away for a bit. Take a walk, get some exercise, find something to laugh about. Hope you feel better soon x
ReplyDeleteHugs to you my friend. I hope you are enjoying your time away. Sometimes our souls just need time & space, just like you said.
ReplyDeleteSpace is so important.
ReplyDeleteIt is important too to look after ourselves... which is so easy to type but much harder to do.
Breathe.
You are one very talented person - if you stopped making the world in which we live would be a poorer place.
Hey, not only are you keeping on blogging but you are blogtoberfesting! Yay! Love the idea of a bit more of the chooky in my day.
ReplyDeleteHope today was happier and I totally love the idea of you having a HUGE one in November.
What date is his? Mine's in November too. XX
Sorry about your yucky day :( I'm glad you got some space and breathed a bit! Sometimes that is all it takes. And I'm really glad to hear you aren't getting rid of your blog! That would be super sad.
ReplyDeleteOh, I'm so pleased you have decided to carry on!
ReplyDeleteI think it's going around, this crap week thing but, we shall pull through indeed!
Made it back! And now have had one of the days but on the technical side with a certain computer that shall remain nameless ~ but nearly ended up at the window.
ReplyDeleteHope today was better. You are so right, space is very important. {although I am still trying to stop the multitasking thing!}