Thursday, September 30, 2010
My Creative Space : Blah!!!
This is what I wanted to do to my sewing machine yesterday.
Ever had one of those days where everything you do turns out badly? I decided I was never sewing again, I was going to throw my machine over a cliff ( felt bad about rubbishing a National Park) burn all my scrap books and never never never make anything or sew anything ever ever ever again. Not blog anymore, erase my whole blog. Full of self doubt- everything I make is crap anyway, it is all too hard, I am not good at anything , everyone is better at sewing than me and more creative than me and I am wasting my time etc etc etc.
After the fifth disaster, they are to painful to list in detail, I realised what was wrong.
You can't make pretty when you feel yukky inside.
I watched my friend bury her father on Tuesday. It was so painful to see her in such pain. To see her being so brave and keeping the family together, supporting her mum. The eulogy she wrote for her father was so beautiful, a mix of funny and kind and heart warming and so beautifully written, I was so proud of her, the way she handled herself. Seeing her fathers school friends crying, it made me cry for them. I glad to be there for her, I know she would do the same.
I thought I could cheer myself up yesterday by spending the day sewing and brainstorming new ideas... but it was not meant to be.
I decided to step away from the machine, go outside, hug the dog and take him into to town for a coffee. I was able to giggle at the designer Hippies that have started arriving in town for the Bellingen Global Carnival with Chef and the owner... but more on that later...
I had a good vent and got a very lovely email from Kate that made me feel better, she was having a crap day too and so was Penny.
I realised that I need to prioritise. I like blogging, so that will continue, I like making so that to will continue. I will give myself longer deadlines for orders and stop trying to multitask.
I will give myself time and space.
My Creative Space is about space today. Nothingness. Just stopping for a while. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
So that is what I am doing for a while, but don't got to far I have the most exciting giveaway coming up ( hint it is from Penguin Publishing)
To see what peeps who didn't want to kill there sewing machines yesterday pop over here, thanks Kirsty.